It’s been far too long since I’ve posted anything of my own on here. Life has been full, empty, rushed, slow, routine, and change all at the same time. March was a blur of a month – a few roadtrips to see friends, the arrival of spring (which seems to have retreated in recent days), lots of quality time with family, workworkwork – and suddenly April arrived.
Thoughts I find myself thinking lately:
-I get paid to do this?
-Is it weird to not own any perfume as a girl?
-I love lighting candles…and not being afraid of getting caught.
-I have money?!
-I can buy this shirt full price if I wanted to…because I can afford it (but I won’t, just for the simple fact that it is full price).
-I have time to read…this is wonderful.
-I can watch TV.
-I need to forget my cell phone at home more often.
-I need to exercise.
-I can’t just eat anything I want anymore?? Sad day.
-I think giving gifts is one of my favorite ways to love people.
-I can braid my hair! Yessssss
-How do we take Christ’s example of love and apply it here on earth?
-Am I making a difference?
-How in the world am I supposed to approach this situation/conversation? Am I supposed to say something?
-Where do I start if I want to buy hiking/camping gear?
-How do I say this without screwing it up?
-Why is it so hard for me to stay focused when I’m praying? Why is it so hard for me to pray in general?
[A few thoughts on life after having been graduated for a year]
I am an adult. I am no longer a college student who lives in a bubble of college life, I can’t have my parents pay for gas, nor am I able to avoid certain situations which I previously labeled something the “adults” would handle. At times I find myself thinking, “You’re too young for this. Heck, you’re only 23.” “You haven’t experienced enough to be able to give your two cents.” But the reality is, I am an adult. I do have to pay attention to the events happening around me, I do pay for gas, I do need to care about this situation and not just leave it for others “older than me” to figure it all out. But I wasn’t really prepared for some of those things. So while I have to embrace all these responsibilities of the adult life, I often feel ill-equipped for the job. I don’t feel like I am 23 1/2 and I’ve been graduated for a whole year.
And I will say, college was a great place to learn and discuss a menagerie of subjects, light and heavy. And that is probably one of the few reasons I miss college. I don’t feel challenged anymore. I rarely have to articulate my opinions about things, and I rarely have the kind of discussions I had in college, which is mostly due to a different (but certainly still good) circle of people. Plus you rarely have deep conversations with people you’ve just met. Relationship building takes time, and I haven’t really had to do that in four years.
But don’t get me wrong – being an adult has also been great! I have paid off a few small loans, I make my own schedule, I am utilizing my degree (and loving it), I have spent lots of time with family, I have a solid job with great co-workers, my job is very rewarding, I have been able to make roadtrips to see friends, and the simple fact that I am a college graduate and a real adult : ) That is just great to say!
So to wrap it all up, it has been a whirlwind of movement and change in my life since I walked across that stage a year ago. And while there have been times I’ve wondered what God was up to, it has all been worth it and it has all been a wonderful learning and growing experience. And to all my peeps who graduated today: post-graduation life is good. It’s stretching, changing, and difficult, but it also rewarding, fun, and just a plain old grand adventure!